Would you like to free yourself from the repeating patterns that have appeared throughout your life in your relationships to others ? They are the ones that you usually say, “people are…………., men are…………………, women are…………………..” (fill in the blanks).
Relationships of any kind can serve as the greatest teacher for us to learn about ourselves. When I started believing that there was no one out there but me, actually a reflection of me and my issues that wanted to be healed, I began to see every relationship as a true gift. Sometimes it took time to think of it that way. Of course, the more emotionally involved you become with a love relationship, the more the deep subconscious issues from your mother, father, or siblings start to show up so that you can forgive them and let go of them. Unless of course, you don’t learn the lesson from the people who show up as a repeating emotional pattern.
The people who bring up a strong emotional reaction in you are the ones you want to pay special attention to. They may show up in a different body, with a different name, however, they will be a reflection of something in you that wants to be healed so that you can have happy, healthy, and loving relationships. When I have a strong negative reaction to someone, or experience an uncomfortable response to someone, I remind myself that there is no one out there but me, and I ask myself what is that pattern from my childhood with my family that I have not forgiven? That is a gift because when we don’t forgive, we keep repeating the pattern, and it can get bigger and more painful with each new relationship.
For example, my father was an overbearing man whom I never learned to speak up to, so one of the repeating patterns in my life was to occasionally attract those kinds of people. (The pattern can show up as behavior from a man or woman.) I feared them until I realized they were just a version of my dad showing up to give me the opportunity to heal that pattern within me and be empowered. As soon as that pattern showed up again, I was aware of the gift they brought me and dared to speak up to them (my dad). When I first did that I felt a feeling of relief and personal power that was exhilirating and surprising. Since then, I have rarely attracted that emotional pattern to me, and when I have, that pattern has never had the same affect on me. It has set me free.
This is not an easy idea to accept and yet it is the one that leads to emotional freedom – at least it has for me.